The Brief

Supervised Visits and Family Court: What Parents Need to Know

• Mike Khader • Season 2 • Episode 6

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Are you facing supervised visits? Get insider tips on how to make the best impression, avoid costly mistakes, and protect your parental rights.

Claudette E. LaMelle, NYS-Clinical Social Worker; Full Service Social Work, LLC is sharing the truth about supervised child visits in family court. Whether you’re in the middle of a custody battle or want to understand the process, this episode delivers real stories, expert advice, and actionable strategies every parent needs to hear. 

Key Takeaways: 

  • What supervised visits mean for custody cases
  • Expert tips for successful supervised child visits
  • Mistakes to avoid during supervised visitation
  • How supervisor reports affect parental rights
  • Real advice from a family law attorney and caseworker

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Mike:

This is the brief. I'm sharing lessons from years in the courtroom representing parents and couples on custody battles, co-parenting, mental health, finances, and more. After 20 years as an attorney, I'm also bringing true law stories from the courtroom to empower you with solid and straightforward advice. I wanna help you become a better partner and parent and be here in a time when you need it the most. I. Hello everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of The Brief with Mike Caterer. This week's episode is gonna be great for any parent that is dealing with difficulty in their divorce or family court case. Today's guest is Claudette Lamel, a licensed master caseworker, and a PhD in educational psychology. What we're gonna hear about is her years of experience and giving tips about how to deal with supervised visits and what is supervised visits, and how parents should approach the supervised visit experience. Without further ado, let's introduce Ms. Claudette Lamel. Claudette, welcome to the show. Thank you for being here. Good afternoon, Mike, and thank you for having me. A lot of times when I planned this podcast, it was to help parents and couples that are going through family and matrimonial and just going through the rigors of life. And it's tough being a parent in this day and age. many times we take these things for granted because this is what we do and we almost become desensitized and take things for granted. But Claudette. One of the most common things that I found is when people hear the concept of I was ordered to go to supervised visits. Let's talk about that. What is supervised visits? When is it used? What is its purpose?

Claudette:

Alright? Your audience should understand that yes, supervised visits is a very intrusive statement. when a judge or a referee says. You dad or mom, you need supervised visits. The, the first reaction is, what, why, why, why do I need to do that? I didn't do anything. I've known the child, da, da, da, da, da, da. That's not necessarily the case. The purpose of the supervised visit is to, one, to create a, a positive and safe environment for the child. So someone, someone has said out loud in court to the judge that they are concerned about drugs doesn't have to be true Now. Drugs, alcohol, domestic violence, sexual assault, and the judge in their infinite wisdom, errs on the side of safety. So if an allegation is not true or false is made in front of the court by either the custodial parent, who in most cases is the mom and or the law guardian, which is also called the A FC, if they make that statement in front of the judge. The judge is going to say, all right, let me see what is going on. And we will do supervised visits. Supervised visits is done with a, a professional, a social worker, or a psychologist, or a psychiatrist who is impartial. We don't get any background on the case. So as the supervisor, yes, I understand that there's an, an allegation, but I don't get. Any previous history? I don't get your criminal history. I don't get your mental health history. I don't get your drug treatment history. I'm dealing with you on a first come first serve basis. Clear flat. So we go on from there.

Mike:

I actually appreciate the fact that you used the word allegations, and in my experience, many times we've been in cases, and I think most attorneys and matrimonial and family court attorneys have been in a case where allegations of, you know, I call it the trifecta. Drugs, alcohol, domestic violence, you know, sexual assault. And let's be clear, it is real. It is out there. But we also know that sometimes it's used as a mechanism to cause havoc. It's weaponized. And what I always tell the client, particularly when I represent a dad, I said, listen, it's an allegation. And I agree with you, just because they said this doesn't make it true. That being said, it still sucks. Literally. I use that language to hear that these things are being said about you

Claudette:

by a person who you had a great deal of faith in before you got to court.

Mike:

Correct, correct. This was at one point you have a child together, so at one point there was an intimate relationship. There was a, a physical emotional bond that clearly has deteriorated. Now you're in court and you want strangers, a judge, two lawyers, the A, FC, and a supervisor to literally come into your lives and see what's the dynamics of the relationship. It just brings back so many times when people say, why do I have? Just because they say it. Why do I have to go? The burden is on them. We don't have to prove a negative.

Claudette:

Next question is, how do I go to court and, and testify? I said, well, you can't because court does not, you can't go. It's not a trial. You don't get a chance to, to do point and counterpoint. It is, it goes out there into the universe and there it is. It just floats around. I'm the person, as a social worker who is, who is objective, says, I don't see the child being afraid. I don't see drugs or alcohol. I don't see, I don't see, I don't see that's, that's your best resolve

Mike:

and I appreciate you said that. And this allows, you know, for, for the follow up. So. Whenever you hear the, you know, the allegations are made, what is it that you look for to see if there's drug of use? There's alcohol abuse, if there's violent tendencies, if the child is fearful, what are some indicators that you look for to see if these allegations are true? Which many times, you know, sometimes they are, or to see these are frivolous claims

Claudette:

in terms of drugs and alcohol. I am not a casac person, which means a person, drugs and alcohol. I don't do testing. I am doing an observation. So if you, as the visiting parent who's also called the non-custodial parent, come in and your eyes are red and you're stilling your words, you may smell of alcohol, you may smell of marijuana, you look. A certain way. I'm going to ask you, are you drinking? Did you smoke reefer? Now we all understand that alcohol and reefer marijuana are legal things. They're legal. However, coming to a supervised visit, you should not be under the influence of anything because you're dealing with your child and you don't want your child to say something untoward like, oh daddy, you smell funny. Or, oh, oh mommy, you look funny. Most of us that do this work will tell people, as an INGO proposition, you need to come to the visit sober. Sober. So if you're smoking reefer, if you're doing alcohol, you need to not do either one of those things the night before so that when you come the day of you have a sort of a clean slate. Everything else is by observation.

Mike:

I'm laughing because we both heard that, you know, common sense isn't so common. I've literally, in my experience, had clients come in and. Had alcohol on their breath, and I would speak to them, yes. I was like, why were you drinking?

Claudette:

Well,

Mike:

see,

Claudette:

I

Mike:

call you all

Claudette:

and said, you know, your clients showed up. They're

Mike:

wreaking and, and I've had clients. I wasn't drinking. I was just so nervous. I took a shot before I went to the visit. It shouldn't be said, but at, we have to say it important. Don't come under the influence of any substance, of any legal or not.

Claudette:

I realize that these visits are very intimidating. They are meeting a supervisor, a stranger who's gonna make a determination on whether or not they can visit with their child without supervision. So they, some of them come in and they're like, you know, look lady, I don't know what this is about. I didn't do this, I didn't, and it's. Trying to keep it light. If you come to my office, my office, I have lavender fragrances to kind of put dampen down people's energy. I've got classical music on, I have a, a playroom that has a sofa. I've got another room that's got another sofa just to kind of dampen it down so that it is not an interrogation, it is not the parent sitting on one side of the table and I'm sitting on the other side of the table asking. A series of very intrusive questions. I try to keep it very light. Yes, I have a job to do. I explain to the visiting, to the non-custodial parent what my job is, how I come to do this job, and hopefully as we move along, you will have the opportunity to move to unsupervised visits. There's a period of time during this process where the judge, the court. Has issued a order, a court order that says supervised visits will take place with Ms. Lamel at this address and gives my phone number, which means that at the next court date, whenever that is, I would have submitted a report that will detail your interactions as the visiting parent with your child or your children. He came on time. Mom came on time. They were neatly dressed. They brought a snack, they read a story, they played uno. That all goes into the report, which goes to court. The judge and the attorneys get the report. If the report is glowing, quote unquote, and you've, you, you've come on time, you've done all the things. The child is happy to see you. The child is asking, when can I go out? When can I go back to your house? That's what's submitted to the court and the court and the three attorneys will make a decision as to whether or not the non-custodial parent can move to unsupervised visits,

Mike:

and that's ultimately what the goal is. Claudette, you, you did mention it when you said intake. Can you please explain, you know, to our listeners, what is the intake and what's the purpose of the intake and how does that work?

Claudette:

The intake is an in-person. Eyes on everybody. I need to see the people. I not only see the non-custodial parent, who in most cases is the dad. I see the custodial parent, which in most cases is the mother and I see the child, the, and I don't care how old the child is, I see the child. The purpose is to be able to talk to the dad about, so why do you need supervised visits? Most of them are gonna say, I don't, who said in court that something happened where the judge said supervised visits. They'll say, oh yeah, well, you know, she said this and he said that. Alright, so tell me about how you met this woman, or how you met this man. How long were you married or how long were you in a relationship? What did you do with the child before we got to this juncture? Did you take the child to school? Were you taking the child to the playground? Did you go on vacations with the child? That's part of the intake. The same questions. Are asked to the mom, who is usually the custodian. She has the child. The child is living with her. In some instances. I have grandmothers, I have aunts and uncles who have the children. And it's the same question. Tell me, as an aunt or grandmother, how did you come by having your niece, your nephew, or your grandchild, and they will expand on that. All right, this is how this works. I meet with the children, whoever brings the child, I take them to another area of the office and meet with the child alone so that the child does not feel intimidated by the parent or the custodian sitting there. And they're gonna say something they shouldn't say maybe, and the parent or the the guardian say, why would you say that? So I talk to the kids alone, and that's really very light. I've got games. We may sit in color and I'll explain to them who I am. I'm going to do visits with you and your dad, or you and your mom. We're not gonna do the visit today. We're gonna do the visit on another day, but you'll come back here. I have toys, I have a full, fully stocked playroom. Almost any toy you can think of is in my playroom. And the kids are like, oh, okay. I can come back and I can play Jenga and I can play Uno. And yes you can. And if you wanna bring something from home that you like to play with with your parent, you are more than welcome to do that. What I do tell them is you can't bring your dog and you can't bring your cat.

Mike:

No pet allowed, but everything else.

Claudette:

Unless it's a, a support animal

Mike:

while you're doing the intake, you know, does, does that help you formulate, you know, does, does it help you see the dynamics of the relationship?

Claudette:

Yes, because I'm watching, I'm observing. I don't take notes during the, intake. I'm observing. It's a conversation. It's a back and forth. Mr. Jones, can you tell me what was said in court about why you needed supervised visits? Well, you know, she said this, that, and Oh, okay. I don't care if it's true or not. What happened? She called the cops one night and I got put out. Okay, I get that mom. What happened? Oh, well, you know, he's a distant, he's a that, and I put him out. All right. And I don't want him to see the kid, unfortunately. Mom, the child's parent, the father is on the birth certificate. He has legal rights to see his children. The legality of that will be with me. I will submit the report to the court that says, dad is okay, dad is safe. Dad does not pose a visible threat to his child or his children. And we go on from there. And then I'm telling the parents and the child the visit is once a week unless I'm directed otherwise by the court. Once a week for one hour.

Mike:

We've both seen situations where a parent has been accused of being inappropriate or can't care for the child or hasn't been involved. Yes. And then we hear the exact opposite. That's not true. I've been involved in my kid's life. My kid is not scared of me. Yes. And we see it. If a child is clearly comfortable with a parent, they're jumping on their lap. How do you address those issues where you clearly see what allegations are made and based on your observations, like how do you document it?

Claudette:

I tell the parent that's being accused, that is being alleged, that they did something. Take a deep breath. We're going forward. We are not gonna go backwards. We're gonna go forward. If you tell me you didn't, then that's what I'm going with. That is what I'm going with. If you tell me, I don't understand why she said that, that is what I'm going with. I'm working from a clean slate. I'm not, yes, I hear what mom says and I'm looking at, you know, mom's, demeanor. I'm looking at the child's demeanor. If the child comes in and runs out the door, which I've had happen. Then I have to say to dad, there's something to this. Why would your 6-year-old or your 10-year-old run out the door or not want to come to visit? At that point, I would meet with the child again and say, okay, why didn't you wanna do the visit? And it may take me one or two times for the child to say, well, he did this and he did that. Well, what did he do? What did, what did he or she do? They yell. All right. What did you do to make mommy or daddy yell? What? What did you do? There's always something they didn't yell at you for no reason. Right? They hit me. What did they hit you with? Because that's important because as a mandated reporter, through the state of New York, there is a standing rule. You are not allowed to use corporal punishment, which means anything to discipline your children. So if the child says, well, dad hits me all the time. Alright. The next time I see dad, I tell dad, there is no physical punishment. If you can't have an informed conversation with your child about something they did, then I'm gonna refer you to parenting classes. I'm gonna refer you to therapy because you cannot hit, I realize it's your child. And that's what I get back. But it's my kid. Yes, it's your child. But within the law, the law says no corporal punishment. So we need to work on a plan on how you gonna engage with your child around redirecting their behavior.

Mike:

I'm laughing not to minimize it, but I, I always make the joke that if the way my parents disciplined me, if I was to do half of what my parents did to me, to my children, I would need my own lawyer. And we get that. You'd

Claudette:

be in, you'd be in jail percent. And I tell the parents that. This is not 1957. In the seventies and eighties, the world changed. They said child abuse, and they very clearly laid out what child abuse was. You can't hit your child with a bedroom slipper. You can't hit your child with a hanger. You can't hit your child with a back of a brush. You can't, any type of weapon. Can't. You can't, you can't.

Mike:

A slipper, an ashtray, anything that can be a hanger, a spa,

Claudette:

anything that can be. A rubber stand as as a weapon. Now that doesn't mean that you cannot swat your kid, swat your child on their bottom with an open hand with their clothes on. That's the leeway in there. You can't strike your child naked and leave a, leave a hand print or a black and blue wall, but you can swap them on the bottom with their clothes on.

Mike:

I always tell clients I will never tell them how to discipline, but I always say if there's a mark that's prima facie corporal punishment. Yeah. Because sometimes it is, it does get a little gray. Right. You know, is a, a smack or a swat? It's really unfortunate for parents nowadays with all the challenges that we have. You know, in the digital age with cyber bullying, with social media, children are just naturally smarter. A 12-year-old, in 2025,

Claudette:

I'm well educated. The schools give a little session on if someone hits you and they go through, they can't do this, they can't do that, they can't do this thing. You can call this number. Which is the 800 number to Albany, and you can report whomever. Or if you see a police officer, you can report that X, Y, and Z or happened to you. Or when you go to school, you can tell your teacher.

Mike:

Again, common sense isn't so common and sometimes parents need to do. My discipline style is more teaching. I find that physical touch or yelling just is, is inherently ineffective, but everyone has a different style because the kid turns you off.

Claudette:

The kid says

Mike:

Woo. Exactly. You know, you just get tuned out. You mentioned something earlier that I want to circle back. You know that if a child wants to bring their favorite toy or something from the house that they can without paying. Yes. What about the parent that has that relationship with the child?

Claudette:

Are they allowed to bring things to? Yes. If the visiting parent has a stuffed animal or a blankie that the child is familiar with, I by all means, I tell them, bring that as a transition. It's called a transitional object. It is something that gets you in the door. I don't know what reception you will get from your child'cause I don't know your child that well. But certainly you can bring a favorite book, you can bring a stuffed animal, you can bring the blankie even if there's a meal, if there's something that you know that the child likes to eat, then alright, bring that. That at least breaks the ice. In my environment, which is very sterile. The, and it's not an office, but it's an obtuse place to meet my dad or meet my mom. Yes. You can bring that, you can bring a book, almost anything wi within reason. And I've got people that bring cupcakes and ice cream and m and ms. Okay. You can bring that.

Mike:

I counsel my clients that. There's allegations that you don't know your child, or your child is scared of you, and you're saying the exact opposite. So what I usually tell them is one, you know, unfortunately, I have to say, make sure you know there's no alcohol involved, but if you know your child has that favorite snack, if it's m and ms, if it's pretzels, if it's that, if cupcake, don't come in with a whole stuff, but come in with that favorite treat. You know, they like, my kids like Legos. You know what, even though you know they have a million Legos at the house, go get your own set of Legos though, because let's be real. While your office is nice, the way you described it, it's an awkward setting. No one wants to voluntarily be there, but if you bring something familiar, you know that Lego, that puzzle, the the rub cube. The coloring book. Bring something that you know you like, and I always say this, this is as a super tip. Also, the observer is gonna observe, you know what your child likes,

Claudette:

right? You came in with something, you didn't come in empty handed and talk about, Hey, I'm here. I tell the parents, look. Do not give the children the bums rush. You're gonna have to come into the office and say hello and wait for the child to run towards you and give you a, a kiss or a hug, don't you? Run towards the kid.'cause I don't know what the relationship is. So let the child initiate the emotional, physical contact. Once we do that, we are really off to the races because if the child, you come in and the child says, oh dad. Oh mom, where have you been? I missed you, da da da, da, da. I love you. We are 50% of the way through the supervised visits. Then I have nothing to do but just build on. That initial contact with you and your child. I also tell parents, do not bring your girlfriend.

Mike:

Oh yeah. Do not

Claudette:

bring your boyfriend. Do not bring anybody else. The visit is solely between you and your child. Unless, unless the court has deemed that you can bring the grandmother. Then that's left in my discretion. I'm gonna tell you. All right. The grandmother can come, but not the first visit. I'll let you know. Maybe the third visit you can bring grandma, but we need to set some groundwork and we need to set a foundation for the visit. Before you bring a

Mike:

third person, that's good. And sometimes, usually when they're in supervised visits, there's already litigation, there's already tension. Why bring that extra person, the boyfriend, the girlfriend, the you know, the ex-spouse? Why add fuel to the fire? What I always tell clients is show up on time. Don't talk about the case. Remind the child that they're loved, right? And talk about the good stuff. You know, that favorite show, that video game,

Claudette:

you the movie. If there's children's movies, if it's Christmas, you know, I know your birthday's coming. What would you like for your birthday? Oh my goodness, I missed your birthday. What can I bring you the next visit? For your birthday,

Mike:

and that goes back. What topics can they pretty much talk about? Anything. Their birthday coming holidays,

Claudette:

they cannot talk about the case. They can make no reference to the case. They can make no negative reference to the other parent. The dad can't say, you know, your mom is a bum. Mom can't say, you know, your dad is a, is a jerk. No, you can talk about school. You can talk about the holidays, whatever their favorite TV program is. Almost anything except the case and each other.

Mike:

Claudette. I'm glad you told me that. So here's a good tip that I know a lot of parents are gonna be. How does a parent answer when the child says that where you've been, I missed you, and the dad has been trying to get access. What is that appropriate answer that. It doesn't say, well, mom kept me from you because, you know, we know that's not the right answer, but how can, what will be an acceptable answer for a parent? And I hope parents listen to this answer. What, what would you recommend as an appropriate answer?

Claudette:

I answer that question so that dad or mom is not stumbling around in the desert and says the wrong thing. I will explain to the child, well, you know, mom and dad are not, they're not so friendly anymore. They're not so friendly anymore and, and I always kind of try to refer it back to school. You know when you and your friends have an argument and today you're not speaking to Tommy, and then tomorrow you are. Well, this is sort of like that. Daddy's been trying to see you, and now we're in court. And the judge and I take the kids to do you know what a judge is? And some of'em say yes, and some of'em say no. And I explain that the judge is the person. Who makes the last decision, they make the last decision about whether or not you need me for forever. And I always tell the kids, I am not here until you get married. I'm only here for a short period of time. So there's gonna come time when you and dad or you and mom will be able to be alone without me. And that's what we are working towards. And the kids are usually pretty. Oh, okay. I mean, it was simple. Oh, that's alright, fine. they're good with that. But I try to take. Some of the weight off the parent trying to explain that mom is a knit wit, and dad is a bum because that, that doesn't do you any good because the child is gonna go home and say, mommy, daddy said, or Daddy, mommy said, and then now I got bigger problems and the court has bigger problems. And

Mike:

your experience and observation. Is it okay for a parent to bring, you know, the Christmas card, the birthday card, or I love you card. I miss you card. Is that appropriate?

Claudette:

If they're gonna do that, I'm gonna ask them. I need to see it first. I need to see the card first. I wanna see what you wrote in it. I mean, again, I don't need you to write something derogatory in the birthday card or something impolite in the Christmas card, so let me see what you wrote. If it's happy birthday, daddy loves you, misses you a lot, or Merry Christmas, mom misses you can't wait to see you. Those are acceptable. Vanilla is always acceptable.

Mike:

And what about Christmas gifts, birthday gifts? Is that okay for them to bring to the,

Claudette:

at the initial visit the first time either the mom or the dad is gonna visit with their child? I tell the parent, you can bring a small token. Something small. Don't come in with a a two foot tall Tonka trunk come in. You could bring like a Lego, you can bring a Barbie doll, bring something small to let the child know I really missed you and I brought this for you. I also tell the parents do not go out and buy an expensive gift because I cannot guarantee that when the gift gets home that it's not discarded. Or whatever the custodial parent does with the gift, and I'm being very honest.'cause some of'em, some of the custodial parents are not the pleasantest person in the world.

Mike:

We've seen that. We've seen that many times, unfortunately. I mean, I've had

Claudette:

dads that have brought clothing, shopping bags of clothing to give to the child to take home. I've taken the child downstairs because my office is on the second floor. Gave the child to the mom and gave mom the two shopping bags who told me, oh, just put them on the curb. I'll get them. After I buckle the kid into the seatbelt, mom has come around, got in the car and drove away and left the clothing on the curb. That was intentional. So I end up taking the clothes upstairs and telling Dad, take the clothes back, and I always tell the parents, don't take the price tags off. In case you gotta take'em back. They're encouraged to bring something small. Christmas. I always gotta work it out.'cause I have parents, even though I tell them, you can bring one, one gift for Christmas. They show up with, you know, a shopping cart full of stuff. All right. Or if it's Hanukkah or whatever the holiday is. And I try to respect all of the cultures. All of the nationalities where gift giving is part of the culture. So if you're, you're, you're Christian and it's Christmas and it's Easter, fine, you can bring an Easter basket small. Do not bring a four foot chocolate bunny.

Mike:

You, you know, Claudette, you, you, you mentioned something that, clothing example, many times I've had many, many clients on both sides. The parent that is trying. To have that relationship and is doing everything the way they should be, showing up on time, bringing the gifts, and then I've represented the parent that's been difficult where they're gonna separate mountains to interfere with that relationship and those type of situations. And I think any family matrimonial has experienced it. It's my belief that having supervised visits help, because normally when parents are bickering, yes, there are no witnesses, it's usually. Her word against his word, his word against hers. So now we have an independent rapport stating everything that you're doing that's neutral, you're not by the court.

Claudette:

I'm there to make sure that the child is safe, that it's a pleasant visit, that the child can interact with the visiting parent and be pleasant, that the child is not stressed out about having to visit. So we try to, again, we try to keep it really light.

Mike:

There's many times, and, and you're right, you do wanna keep it alive, particularly in the presence of the child. But what I have personally done many times in cases where my client is being accused of just horrific things and just, you know, a bad absentee parent, I literally just line by.'cause we don't get the report in advance. I literally go by lying. Your Honor, at the last court appearance, mom said child was scared of dad. In the visitation report, the child ran to the dad, your Honor. Mom says Dad doesn't know anything about the child. Your Honor, in the visitation report, they were talking about schoolwork, and I always try to point out the differences. Always for parents who are being accused of, you know, these negative things and just, you know, being a bad parent, always offer the court compare and contrast. Here's what the parent is saying, you know, look what the positive or independent report says. Compare contrast, compare, contrast. And then what I try to do is show the court the bad intentions of the custodial parent.

Claudette:

Yes, and I try to model for the parent. Look, this is not about you trying to win over your child by bashing mom or bashing dad. This is about you, the visiting parent, setting up the most, the, the, a positive interaction with your child. You cannot come in here and curse your kid out. You can't come in, you shouldn't come in here and yell. You should talk about school. If the kid got a, a failing grade, ask them what happened? Why did you, why didn't you pass a spelling test? Maybe that's something you can work on at the next visit. Again, I've got all that stuff in the office. I've got educational materials. I work with children that are autistic, so we're working with parents who sometimes do not believe that their child is disabled. So that's a whole nother level of look. The child is autistic. No, they're not. Yes, they are. Here is the IEP, which is an individual educational plan, which means the child has been tested, the child has been assessed, and someone, a clinical person, has come up with a determination as to why your child is acting the way he or she is acting. So now we need to go from there. We need to go from there. So it's instructing. The visiting parent on how to interact with their child that's on the autism spectrum.

Mike:

And like you said, that they're just a whole different, there's another layer of complexity whenever you're dealing with a child with special needs who suck in, you know, litigation because mom and dad can't get along. Claudette, I know our time is is running out. The one question that I want to to ask is, and you mentioned your, your office and how it's, it's clean, it's, and you, you have activities there and such. Are supervised visits allowed to be taken place outside of your office, or are they only inside your office?

Claudette:

Yes. We start initially in the office, and that's for everybody's safety. That's for my safety, the child's safety, the visiting parent's safety, so that I have you in a contained area. If you're going to act up better, you act up in my office. Then you are out in the park. I gotta run after you better the child act up in my office. Then I have to go doing the 50 yard dash because the child is taken off after a while. Yes, I will take a parent to a McDonald's, to a local park to, I mean, I'm gone so far. I went to a baseball game with a dad and, and his kids. I mean out did, what is it? MetLife, whatever that place is in Queens. I tried to accommodate when possible that's going to the baseball game. That was unique. Most of the time it's the local parks in Westchester County, Saxon Woods, Tibbits Brook, Hartley Park. Or some of the, the venues, there's Dave and Busters, there's Chuck E. Cheese, there are places like that. There's the, I think it's the space zone in Elmsford. We're, we're, if we can move around, but it, it's going to be after everybody is comfortable with the visit and I'm able to say, all right, I think we can do this with a modicum of people, absconding. If I'm told that there's the possibility of the visiting parent absconding with the child, then we're not going anywhere.

Mike:

You're gonna keep it in there. Claudette, we could continue talking about this for hours. I want to thank you for talking about, you know, your experience and given you know, tips. If any listener wants to have any follow up examples or would like to speak to you, how can they reach you?

Claudette:

My office is located in Mount Vernon at 10 Fisk. F-I-S-K-E place, Mount Vernon, 1 0 5 5 oh. I'm on the second floor, room 2 0 5. It's an elevator operated building. That's the office address. My phone number is(917) 743-6333, and the phone is unfortunately on all the time. I will answer the phone. If for some reason I don't answer, leave a message and I'll call you back. You can also text me at that phone number and I will get back to you. The office is open Monday through Saturday. We are there Saturday. We're usually there from eight to 12, or I have a Spanish and translator. I have a translator if family is Spanish speaking. I have a translator who's in the office that can help with processing the visits

Mike:

so they could text you. You have handicap accessible, bilingual, and they could reach out to you directly. Claudette, we wanna thank you. I want to thank you for being a guest, giving some insight, help informing our audience about supervised visits and giving them some tips and guidance on how to proceed with that and having successful supervised visits. Thank you so much for coming on, and we hope we could have you again,

Claudette:

the audience should know that this is a very stressful process. This is a very stress because you, you, you're being quote unquote scrutinized whether or not you can parent your own child. And it is stressful and I have lots of people who are very angry, but we work through that as well because not only am I doing supervised visits, I'm doing therapy. I'm a clinician, so I'm gonna try and help you dispel some of the anger, some of the angst. Redirect it in a more positive direction so that you can visit with your child without benefit of a supervisor.

Mike:

Claudette, thank you so much for that service, particularly here in Southern Westchester. Many families need this service, so we thank you so much and we look forward to having you back on again with the brief. Thanks again.

Claudette:

Anytime, Mike. Thank you for having me. Bye. You got it.

Mike:

Alright folks there, you heard it directly from the horse's mouth, Claudette Lamel, who has conducted thousands of supervised visits. So parents, what we think is common sense may not always be common. The takeaways as always, show up on time. Don't be drunk or high. Talk about how much you love your child. Don't talk negative about the other parent. Keep the visits about the child. Don't bring your new Paramore or friends or family. The visit is between you and your child. What we recognize is supervised visits are difficult, they're emotional, and as Claudette told you always keep it about the child. All the reports will be sent back to the judge. Have your lawyer, no matter who they represent, point out the positives of the report and distinguish it from the negative allegations that are made against you. Remember, there is nothing positive when somebody makes false allegations about you. However, use it to your advantage to show how the custodial parent is making things difficult and is literally. Making up lies to ruin the relationship with you and your child. So when life or that parent gives you lemons, make lemonade. Tune in next week for our next episode. Thanks for listening. This is Mike Catter, and I'll help you and your family navigate custody disputes or divorce matters with your best interest First, you can book a free consultation with me and learn more by following me on Instagram at Mike j Cater. I've also included a link in today's show notes. Tune in for our next episode of the brief coming next week.

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Mike Khader

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